The stroke was an incredible blow: we had a 93rd birthday party for John with his best friends a month ago Friday. John was regaling us with tales of teenaged Linda. He tended bar, pouring the drinks his generation prefers. We all thought "I hope I'm as with it as John, If I live to be 93."

Since then its been days and nights at Stanford Hospital and lately University convalescent hospital. We've been researching as the scope of John's recovery became apparent and think we've found a good small group home that's nearby and a good fit for his impaired mobility. In the meantime we've been at his apartment doing the sad work of storing and throwing away things John won't be needing again.

High School classmate Sandy Frazier writes in his book Family about this process. It is amazing how ephemeral a life is and these solid structures of home and parents slip away amazingly quickly. This ahs been apparent as we helped John move from his home of 50 years to the apartment where he's lived for the last 4 years. I helped him moved his wife into an Alzheimer's care home when the time came, and helped him as gently as I could remove her things and move him to a new apartment where we hoped the memories might be easier.

And John adjusted: he had taken up bridge again, was running for the residents council, had reorganized the libraries at his assisted living complex when the stroke came. He showed prospective residents around and was so busy it was hard to get him on the phone. So, now, new realities, new adjustments, a new home...
Comments 8:16:21 AM    

Chris Gulker's view from Silicon Valley - in words and pictures